Benefits of Forgiving Others in Relationships

Published June 26, 2009 Forgiveness , relationships Leave a Comment
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benefits of forgiveness
Forgiveness is an essential part of any relationship.  Professor George has written an excellent article on the benefits of forgiveness within relationships.  Check out the first two paragraphs of his article (you can purchase the full article below).

Enjoy,

Mark
Web Director

“Like everyone, there have been times that you and I have needed to forgive someone else. And, like everyone, you and I have had times when we’ve needed to be forgiven by someone we’ve offended.

Are there emotional and spiritual benefits to forgiving another person? What happens to our emotions when we decide not to forgive someone? Does experiencing forgiveness have the power to heal damaged emotions or heal a serious psychological disorder? There are some striking and sometimes surprising answers to these kinds of questions…”

Download the full article for only $0.99

For more articles by Professor George, visit his website here.

Bristol Palin is right about abstinence

Published May 8, 2009 Abstinence , Love , Marriage , Sex Before Marriage , Sexually Transmitted Diseases , Teen Sex Facts , Teen Sex in the News Leave a Comment
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Bristol Palin just launched a national campaign promoting abstinence among teens. You will remember that she is the teen daughter of Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska, who ran for Vice President last year. During the presidential campaign, Bristol delivered a baby boy, even though she was not married to the baby’s father, Levi Johnston.

On Fox News last night, Bristol insisted,  “Abstinence is the more difficult choice, but the safest choice.” Psychological and medical evidence clearly supports that statement. Bristol’s mother–Governor Sarah Palin–stated on Fox News, “It is less than ideal to be a teen with a baby.”

Both Bristol’s statement and her Governor mother’s statement are scientifically accurate.  However, the father of Bristol’s baby–Levi Johnston–was quoted on television as contradicting Bristol.  He said, “Abstinence is not realistic.”  Now Levi’s statement is NOT clearly supported by scientific research because abstinence IS actually realistic for thousands of teenagers who indeed remain abstinent from sexual relations until they get married. Levi’s statement IS partially true for the many teenagers who chose to take the risks involved in sexual relations before marriage.  It is a matter of choice.

One TV commentator agreed with Levi’s statement, “Abstinence is not realistic,” saying that sexual relations between teens is to be expected because “their raging hormones over-rules their thinking.” It is true that sexual hormones make teens much more interested in sex.  However, human teenagers are not mere animals who mate when their hormones kick in.  Instead, research shows that human teenagers–and indeed humans in general–are less influenced in their sexual behavior by hormones than mammals in the animal kingdom.  Clearly, humans are more influenced by their higher brain power compared to animals when it comes to sexual behavior.

So scientifically speaking, the unwed teen mother, Bristol Palin, was correct to say, “Abstinence is the more difficult choice, but the safest choice.” 

Abstinence is more difficult because there are many temptations to have sexual relations before marriage. Abstinence is more difficult when you love your boyfriend or girlfriend and when they want to have sex NOW.  But abstinence is clearly the safest choice when you look at all the medical and psychological facts. With abstinence, you are safer from creating a pregnancy compared to using all different kind of contraceptives. With abstinence you are safer from contracting a sexually-transmitted disease, including AIDS, compared to having sex with contraceptives.

Many times in life, the safest and most desirable outcome is more difficult, but worth the extra effort.

What do you think? E-mail any comments or questions you might have about this story to: teensextoday@ProfessorGeorge.com or just write to me on my blog. If we post what you write, we will keep it anonymous. Count on me to be logical, ethical, and scientific in my answers.

P.S. I’ve been lecturing in five universities in Italy in recent months, so I have not been able to post blogs here for a while, but now I’m back home and writing again!

–Professor George

George A. Rekers, Ph.D., FAACP
Distinguished Professor of Neuropsychiatry and Behavioral Science Emeritus
University of South Carolina School of Medicine

© Copyright, 2008, Professor George LLC
www.ProfessorGeorge.com

A little bit about Professor George…

Published January 20, 2009 Uncategorized Leave a Comment
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professorgeorge

So, who is Professor George and why should you listen to what he has to say?  I thought it would be helpful to give you a little background on Professor George.  As always, to read more about Professor George, click here.

Dr. George Rekers is Distinguished Professor of Neuropsychiatry and Behavioral Science Emeritus at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine in Columbia, South Carolina.

Professor George was previously a Research Fellow in Psychology and Social Relations and a Visiting Scholar at Harvard University.

He was awarded the Diplomate in Clinical Psychology from the American Board of Professional Psychology and is an elected Fellow of the American Academy of Clinical Psychology.

In addition to his clinical psychology practice and expert courtroom testimony, Professor George has published well over one hundred academic journal articles and book chapters and ten books, including the Handbook of Child and Adolescent Sexual Problems (Simon & Schuster) for which he served as the editor.

His work has been supported by fellowships, contracts, and grants exceeding one million dollars from private foundations and governmental entities, including the National Science Foundation and the National Institute of Mental Health.

Dr. Rekers has delivered many invited research presentations on child and family variables before committees of the United States Senate and House of Representatives, and has served as an invited expert for White House staff and several presidential cabinet agencies such as the Department of Health and Human Services.

He has delivered over two hundred invited lectures in universities and academic societies in dozens of countries in Africa, Asia, Latin America, the Middle East, and in Western and Eastern Europe.

Dr. Rekers is a past recipient of the NARTH Sigmund Freud Award for his research contributions on child gender identity disorder.

To read more about Professor George and his publications, visit his website here.

We would like to hear any comments or questions you might have for Professor George.  Leave your comments on the blog or email us at teensextoday@professorgeorge.com.

Mark

Web Director

Teen Sex Today

The Porn Drug: Effects of Porn on Teens, Part 2

Published January 17, 2009 Porn Leave a Comment
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The Porn Drug Series

2.  Harmful Sexual Behavior

The second effect of porn on teens in our series is harmful sexual behavior.  Our last post described The Escalation Effect.

Studies show that those who view porn often are more likely to act out these sexual behaviors onto others, as viewing porn online or watching explicit videos is not enough to satisfy their sexual desire.  Such harmful sexual behavior includes, rape, pedophilia, voyeurism, group sex, and inflicting pain on oneself or others.

Pornography is what led Ted Bundy, an infamous serial killer, and many other criminals to develop harmful behavior that fueled their horrific crimes.  Here are some experts taken from Bundy’s last interview with James Dobson before his execution on January 24, 1989 (experts taken from “Life on the Edge” by Dr. James Dobson, see complete article at Pure Intimacy’s website here):

Bundy explains how he developed such harmful sexual behavior,

As a young boy of 12 or 13, I encountered, outside the home, in the local grocery and drug stores, softcore pornography. Young boys explore the sideways and byways of their neighborhoods, and in our neighborhood, people would dump the garbage. From time to time, we would come across books of a harder nature – more graphic. This also included detective magazines, etc., and I want to emphasize this. The most damaging kind of pornography – and I’m talking from hard, real, personal experience – is that that involves violence and sexual violence. The wedding of those two forces – as I know only too well – brings about behavior that is too terrible to describe.

… this kind of literature contributed and helped mold and shape the kinds of violent behavior.

Bundy continued to explain that he was a normal guy and even had a healthy upbringing, however, pornography and its ease of access quickly snuck into his life.

I was a normal person. I had good friends. I led a normal life, except for this one, small but very potent and destructive segment that I kept very secret and close to myself.

Once you become addicted to it, and I look at this as a kind of addiction, you look for more potent, more explicit, more graphic kinds of material. Like an addiction, you keep craving something which is harder and gives you a greater sense of excitement, until you reach the point where the pornography only goes so far – that jumping off point where you begin to think maybe actually doing it will give you that which is just beyond reading about it and looking at it.

(See our post on The Escalation Effect)

 I wasn’t some guy hanging out in bars, or a bum. I wasn’t a pervert in the sense that people look at somebody and say, “I know there’s something wrong with him.” I was a normal person. I had good friends. I led a normal life, except for this one, small but very potent and destructive segment that I kept very secret and close to myself. Those of us who have been so influenced by violence in the media, particularly pornographic violence, are not some kind of inherent monsters. We are your sons and husbands. We grew up in regular families. Pornography can reach in and snatch a kid out of any house today. It snatched me out of my home 20 or 30 years ago. As diligent as my parents were, and they were diligent in protecting their children, and as good a Christian home as we had, there is no protection against the kinds of influences that are loose in a society that tolerates….

I’m no social scientist, and I don’t pretend to believe what John Q. Citizen thinks about this, but I’ve lived in prison for a long time now, and I’ve met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence. Without exception, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography – deeply consumed by the addiction. The F.B.I.’s own study on serial homicide shows that the most common interest among serial killers is pornographers. It’s true.

For more on this interview click here. 

As always, let Professor George know if you have any questions or comments on this post.  In the meantime, check back because we will continue this series on The Porn Drug and Professor George will be adding his research on the topics.

Mark

Web Director

Teen Sex Today

This is my story…

Published January 14, 2009 Abstinence , Guest Blogger , Love , Sex Before Marriage , Virginity Leave a Comment
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This is my story...

I am saddened to see so many young people making terrible decisions and permanently altering and even destroying their lives.   I pray that by telling my story, I can prevent just one person from making the same mistakes I have made.

I am a 28 year old, single woman.  I have never been married but I have been in many relationships and made many mistakes.  I was raised in a Christian home with high morals and a firm belief system.  I was always taught that sex before marriage was wrong.  I was a pretty good kid who didn’t get into too much trouble, but things changed.  Some unfortunate events happened and these events sent me on a two year quest to find out who I was and what I truly believed.  During that time, I started to seek “love” and acceptance from men.  I put quotations around love because that’s what I really thought I was seeking.  In reality, I was just seeking someone who would show me affection, tell me I was pretty, make me feel good and build my self confidence.  These things do not equal love.  I was almost 21 when I found what I thought I needed.  He was attractive, he “loved” me, he wanted to marry me and by all accounts, he was a pretty good guy.  We began to get involved in a physical relationship and, before long I had allowed him to take the most precious gift I could ever give… my virginity.  This was not some drunken, one night stand.  It was not teenage hormones raging out of control.  We were both adults who made a conscience decision to have sex.  I thought it was sex with TRUE love (as mentioned in Professor George’s blog post), but in reality, there was no real love there.  Sure, we cared for each other, but had it been TRUE love, he would have upheld and supported my decision to wait until marriage.

There are several reasons teenagers today have sex before they are married.  Some are simply curious or are trying to fulfill their hormonal desires.  Others, like me, are seeking love and acceptance.   Some may have been involved in a rape and now feel dirty or worthless, turning to sex as a way to escape the pain.  Whatever the reason, not only is it wrong, it’s NOT worth it.  The risks of contracting an STD, becoming pregnant, and the inevitable emotional pain involved are NOT worth it.  If you have made the decision to have sex before marriage, it’s not too late to start over.  Regardless of how many times you’ve had sex or your number of sexual partners, you can still receive the gift of “secondary virginity”.  You can start over right now and commit to WAIT!  It will not be easy and you will have many temptations, but YOU are WORTH THE WAIT!  Please take a minute to read “She’s Worth the Wait” by guest blogger, Mark.  Ladies, you deserve the love and respect of a man who is willing to keep his hands off you and wait until marriage.  Guys, learn to respect and honor women.  If they are the ones pressuring you to have sex, stand up and be a leader.  You can’t change your past, but you can control your future.  Make the right decisions.

-Hailey
Charlotte, NC

What’s your story?  We would like to hear your story or experiences on dating, sex, relationships, etc. and any healthy advice or tips you may have.  Please leave a comment to this post.

Sex with True Love OR Sex Without Love

Published December 21, 2008 Love , Marriage , Sex Before Marriage , Teen Sex in the News Closed
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Sex with True Love or sex without love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The other day, I posted a blog on a news story, “Teen stabs boyfriend after he refuses sex.” A 19-year-old teen girl reportedly woke up her 35-year-old boyfriend to “make love” in their bedroom, but her boyfriend refused and went to sleep on the living room couch. Then after further disagreement, the teen girl allegedly stabbed her boyfriend on the lip with a long knife-like metal object.

I mentioned that this unusual news story raised a number of questions in my mind, and I promised to get back to this story and give my reaction to these questions, so here goes:

Is it wise for a teen girl to pursue an unmarried sexual relationship with a man in his mid-30’s? “No,” for a number of reasons.  Here’s some of them, and if you think of more reasons, please write a comment to this blog.  [1] Having regular unmarried sex increases the chances that the teen girl will become pregnant, and even if she or he uses contraceptives, they are not 100% effective. If the teen girl got pregnant, she and her baby would not have the same level of legal protections and legal commitment for financial support from the father that come with marriage. [2] Research found that children suffer more emotional, behavioral, and academic problems if they grow up with parents who cohabitate compared to children who grow with married parents. (Susan L. Brown, Family structure and child well-being: The significance of parental cohabitation, Journal of Marriage and Family, 2004, volume 66, pages 351-364.)  So having unmarried sex involves the possibility of creating a child, and so the decision should include that possible child’s well-being.

Why didn’t the teen girl just leave him alone when he turned down her sexual advance? In any human relationship, we should honor and respect the wishes of the other person, and when it comes to something as significant as a sexual relationship, it is morally wrong to force anyone to have sex who says “No.”  If the teen girl genuinely loved the older man, she would not even want to force him to do something he did not want to do at the time.  This news story is somewhat unusual in that it is more typical for a guy to try to pressure a teen girl to have sex when she really does not want to have sex.  Many guys will use some version of the line, “If you truly loved me, you’d have sex with me.”  But, in fact, if the guy truly loved the girl, he would not be pressuring her to do something she preferred not to do.  In this news story, the tables are turned, and the teen girl reportedly pressured the guy to have sex when he did not want to have sex.  So why didn’t she just leave him alone when he turned down her sexual advance? It looks like it is highly likely that she did not truly love and respect the man for who he is and for the decision he made.  Which leads us to the next question….

Would a teen with true “love” for her boyfriend end up stabbing the person loved? Obviously, “NO.” Stabbing a person is not a loving act.  Occasionally a person under tremendous stress who is very tired and upset might do something people describe as “out of character,” but if a person harms another person, they are actually revealing their true underlying character at some level.  Which leads us again to the next question….

Did the teen girl really want to “make love” or just have sexual gratification? It looks like it is highly possible that this teen girl was motivated by her own selfish desire for immediate sexual gratification for herself.  From what we can tell from the news story and the arrest records that I read, there was no evidence of true “love” in this teen girl’s actions on the day she was arrested for stabbing her boyfriend.

What psychological conditions would contribute to this episode? From the limited details we have, we can only make some guesses, and cannot be certain.  But some people stab others who have any of these diagnoses, for example: a Psychotic Disorder, Delusional Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or Histrionic Personality Disorder, or Borderline Personality Disorder.  But normally, teenagers have not fully developed one of the personality disorders, which are usually diagnosed after some adulthood years. We really cannot tell what diagnosis this teen girl might or might not have from the limited information in the news story.  In fact, she might not have any psychological disorder, but just be an evil, selfish person who is showing her true underlying nature.

The moral of the story: [1] True love does not try to force anyone to have sex.  [2] Sex is most meaningful when it involves true love between the partners—so Sex plus Love is vastly better than Sex minus Love. [3] Sex + Love + Marriage is vastly better than Sex + Love, for many reasons. One reason is that Sex + Love + Marriage provides a greater degree of protection and benefits to the father, to the mother, and to the child who could be conceived by the act of sexual intercourse.

What do you think? E-mail any comments or questions you might have about this story to: teensextoday@ProfessorGeorge.com or just write to me on my blog. If we post what you write, we will keep it anonymous. Count on me to be logical, ethical, and scientific in my answers.

–Professor George

George A. Rekers, Ph.D., FAACP
Distinguished Professor of Neuropsychiatry and Behavioral Science Emeritus
University of South Carolina School of Medicine

© Copyright, 2008, Professor George LLC
www.ProfessorGeorge.com

RESEARCH: Teen Virgins Have More Advantages!

Published December 19, 2008 Abstinence , Marriage , Sex Before Marriage , Sex Surveys , Sexually Transmitted Diseases , Virginity Leave a Comment
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I’ve often overheard my teenage son tell one of his friends, “That kind of short-term pleasure equals long-term disaster.” Because my son really cares about how his friends’ lives turn out, he forcefully makes this argument when they talk about doing drugs, getting drunk, or having sex before marriage.

Research studies back up my son’s point!  Robert Rector and Kirk A. Johnson, Ph.D. published an article that summarizes research on the advantages to teens when they abstain from having sex. This review reported that “over 90 percent agree that teens should be taught to abstain from sex until they have at least finished high school.” So my teen sons advice to his friends actually agrees with a majority of teenagers surveyed in that study.

You might be surprised by the findings summarized by Mr. Rector and Dr. Johnson’s article. Here’s some brief quotes from their longer article that is backed up by research studies:

  • “Teens who abstain from sex are less likely to be depressed and to attempt suicide.“
  • “Teens who abstain from sex are less likely… to experience STDs.”
  • “Teens who abstain from sex are less likely… to have children out-of-wedlock.“
  • “Teens who abstain from sex are less likely… to live in poverty and welfare dependence as adults.“
  • “Teens who delay sexual activity are more likely to have stable and enduring marriages as adults.“
  • “Teens who abstain from sex during high school years are substantially less likely to be expelled from school.“
  • “Teens who abstain from sex during high school years are substantially… less likely to drop out of high school.“
  • “Teens who abstain from sex during high school years are substantially… more likely to attend and graduate from college.“
  • “Social science data show that teens who abstain from sex do substantially better on a wide range of outcomes.”
  • “In short, teen virgins are more likely to possess character traits that lead to success in life.”

You can find the entire article by Robert Rector and Kirk A. Johnson, Ph.D. at this website:

http://www.heritage.org/Research/Abstinence/whitepaper10272005-1.cfm

If you’ve been sexually pressured into sex before you wanted it, or if you made some mistakes by having sex before marriage, I bet that you can still return to sexual abstinence and be a “secondary virgin” and reap many, if not all, of the benefits of being a teen virgin.

E-mail your comments or questions about this research on the advantages of being a teen virgin to: teensextoday@ProfessorGeorge.com or just write to me on my blog. If we post what you write, we will keep it anonymous. Count on me to be logical, ethical, and scientific in my answers.

–Professor George

George A. Rekers, Ph.D., FAACP
Distinguished Professor of Neuropsychiatry and Behavioral Science Emeritus
University of South Carolina School of Medicine

© Copyright, 2008, Professor George LLC
www.ProfessorGeorge.com

Teen stabs boyfriend after he refuses sex…

Published December 11, 2008 Love , Sex Before Marriage Leave a Comment
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Violent Refusal, Teen Sex Today

Teen stabs boyfriend after he refuses sex…
This was a headline on today’s Drudge Report that was linked to a news story published by The Smoking Gun.

According to police arrest records in Louisiana, a 19-year-old teen girl allegedly woke up her 35-year-old boyfriend to “make love” in their bedroom, but her boyfriend was not in the mood and pushed her off of him.  The boyfriend told police that he then went to sleep on the living room couch, but that the girl “would not leave him alone.” Then the teen girl allegedly stabbed her boyfriend on the lip with a long knife-like metal object. The teen girl was charged with aggravated battery and damage to property, and her boyfriend was charged with simple battery.

This news story raises a number of questions:
Is it wise for a teen girl to pursue an unmarried sexual relationship with a man in his mid-30’s?
Why didn’t she just leave him alone when he turned down her sexual advance?
Would true “love” end up stabbing the person loved?
Did she really want to “make love” or just have sexual gratification?
What psychological conditions would contribute to this episode?

I’m posting this story to get your comments on it.  Then later I’ll respond to your comments and make my own comments.
E-mail your comments or questions to: teensextoday@ProfessorGeorge.com or just write to me on my blog. If we post what you write, we will keep it anonymous. Count on me to be logical, ethical, and scientific in my answers.

–Professor George

George A. Rekers, Ph.D., FAACP
Distinguished Professor of Neuropsychiatry and Behavioral Science Emeritus
University of South Carolina School of Medicine

© Copyright, 2008, Professor George LLC
www.ProfessorGeorge.com

Actress Brooke Satchwell’s View that Having Children Without Marrying Their Father

Published December 11, 2008 Abstinence , Marriage , Sex Before Marriage , Virginity Leave a Comment
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In an interview in Woman’s Day, actress Brooke Satchwell was asked about her relationship with actor Matthew Newton.  The Woman’s Day interviewer reminded Brooke that she previously said that marriage for her and Matthew was “in our future.” Then the interviewer asked Brooke if that was still true.

Brooke reportedly replied, “Yeah. I mean I have friends who have been together 16 years and have two kids who aren’t married. I’m not a particularly religious person so there’s not the pressure from that end to formalise the relationship. It would be nice to have a really special day to plan though.”

Brooke’s answer raises an important question:  If an unmarried couple lives together and have children together, is it just up to them whether to be married or not, or should they consider what is best for the children?  In other words, is it just a decision that consenting adults should decide based just on what those adults want?

To answer this question, it would help if we could first answer another question with research studies:  Does it matter for children’s well-being whether their parents are married or not?

The research says “yes” it does matter for the children’s well-being in a big way.  A large nationally representative sample of 35,938 children in the United States population found that children living with unmarried cohabiting parents experienced more behavioral and emotional problems than children living with their two married parents.  This study and others find that depression, poorer school performance, and greater psychological stress are especially more frequent in children living with their unmarried parents [Susan L. Brown (2004), Family structure and child well-being: The significance of parental cohabitation, Journal of Marriage and Family, volume 66, particularly pages 351-364].

Note, too, that actress Brooke Satchwell also said, “I’m not a particularly religious person so there’s not the pressure from that end to formalise the relationship.”

It is true that the Judeo-Christian scriptures had a strong influence on Western culture (including Australia, Europe, and North America) and that synagogues and churches have historically followed the Bible that teaches that a man and woman should get married if they want to have a sexually intimate relationship and also if they want to have children together.  And the Bible teaches that sexual relationships outside of the marriage relationship angers God.  The Bible teaches that it was God who created the gift of sexuality and God who created marriage in the first place.

Here we have an instance where the research on the psychological well-being of children and the Bible conclude the same thing—namely, that a couple should be married to have children, but for somewhat different reasons.  The research says marriage is better for children than unmarried cohabiting parents, and the Bible teaches that being married is better for the couple’s relationship with God because marriage pleases God and cohabiting without marriage angers God.  Combining the two sources of knowledge, we would conclude that since God created marriage as the foundation for family life, it turns out better for parents and children alike to following the created pattern instead of going one’s own way as though God does not exist.

P.S. :  You can find the entire interview of actress Brooke Satchwell here

I’d be interested in your reaction to the interview of Brooke Satchwell and to my comments on her thoughts. E-mail your comments or questions to: teensextoday@ProfessorGeorge.com or just write to me on my blog. If we post what you write, we will keep it anonymous. Count on me to be logical, ethical, and scientific in my answers.

–Professor George

George A. Rekers, Ph.D., FAACP
Distinguished Professor of Neuropsychiatry and Behavioral Science Emeritus
University of South Carolina School of Medicine

© Copyright, 2008, Professor George LLC
www.ProfessorGeorge.com

The Porn Drug: Effects of Porn on Teens, Part 1

Published December 9, 2008 Porn 2 Comments
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The Porn Drug Series

THE PORN DRUG SERIES:

This series was the idea of my young webmaster Mark, because he knows how easy it is for teens to find pornography on the Internet, and how it has a lure that has some unexpected dangers to it.  As a very young person, Mark asks a thought-provoking question and comment:  “Do you think porn is just an innocent pleasure?  Think again as we describe some of the many harmful effects porn has on teens.”

This series of blogs will comment on some unexpected and unwanted effects of porn on teens.  Let’s start with the first one:

1.    The Escalation Effect
It all starts off with a quick glimpse of someone in a skimpy outfit, then leads to a night of online swimsuit photo viewing.  However, this doesn’t satisfy your sexual urge, so you venture on to soft-core porn images (and maybe a quick mpeg here and there).  But yet you still crave more intense and explicit porn, which leads you to “stumble” upon hard-core porn sites.  Eventually, the most explicit images do not satisfy you.  You long for more and more extreme, however, it is never enough.  You are hooked and keep coming back for more, whatever the cost.

Some psychologists have pointed out that when you separate sexual pleasure from a loving relationship with a real person, you are easily “satiated” with pictures you have seen, and because porn is sexual arousal without a human person to relate to, it does not ultimately satisfy.  For that reason, over a period of time, one set of pictures or a video is no longer as exciting as it was at first, so you go looking for more visual images.  But then you quickly become satiated on those, so you go look for some new ones, and so on, and so on. It is an endless search for satisfaction that is never completely satisfied.

Clinical psychologists and psychiatrists provide psychotherapy for people with problems, including sexual problems.  And they have found that over a period of years and months, teens and young adults who become repeat users of pornography often progress from normal images to a little bit wierd sexual images and finally to really strange sexual fixations.  It goes like this.  First, just seeing a picture of a topless young woman is exciting.  Then those kinds of pictures get boring, so the young person looks for video images of intercourse.  But over enough time, those get boring, so the young person starts getting interested in porn with “kinky” or wierd sexual deviations.

As you may know, I am a clinical psychologist myself. I have had psychotherapy patients who described this progression that happened over months and sometimes years of involvement with porn, to the point that the patient develops a strange sexual deviation and cannot have normal sexual relations with his wife without bringing wierd porn into the bedroom with her.  Needless to say, many wives find this repulsive and refuse to go along with it.  Then it becomes a serious marital problem, and sometimes the couple comes with this problem to a mental health professional for marriage counseling.

No teen that I have talked to (and I have talked with hundreds of them over my career) ever expects “The Escalation Effect.”  But it is a common problem for those who stick with viewing porn repeatedly. “The Escalation Effect” is an unexpected effect.  And when it is fully developed, it is a difficult problem to solve.  And the best approach is to prevent it from happening in the first place.

Let me know if you have any question or comment on “The Escalation Effect.”  In the meantime, check back at this website because we have a series started now, and my webmaster Mark and I will be writing about a half dozen other effects of porn on teens.

–Professor George

George A. Rekers, Ph.D., FAACP
Distinguished Professor of Neuropsychiatry and Behavioral Science Emeritus
University of South Carolina School of Medicine

© Copyright, 2008, Professor George LLC
www.ProfessorGeorge.com

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